


You Only Live Twice

by sorion



Series: Moonraker [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 00:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1623137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorion/pseuds/sorion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock has been thinking about katralar recently. It isn't the first time he personally has to face his katra leaving his body for travels unknown, but unlike his first experience - so long ago and in a universe that will now never even exist - this is <i>his</i> time.</p><p>Side story to <i>Moonraker</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Only Live Twice

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** [leandraholmes](http://leandraholmes.tumblr.com/) ♥  
>  **AN:** Side story to [Moonraker](http://archiveofourown.org/works/826397) (takes place some years later)

Spock has been thinking about katralar recently. It isn't the first time he personally has to face his katra leaving his body for travels unknown, but unlike his first experience - so long ago and in a universe that will now never even exist - this is _his_ time. 

And he must say he enjoys feeling the wonders of existence from this new and untarnished perspective. Enjoys comprehending the things he has accomplished in his fulfilled life, the friends' lives he was privileged to enrich, the love he is allowed to leave in his wake. And he enjoys the spark of joy at having been allowed to observe his younger self and his friends make discoveries, mistakes, form unexpected connections... find unexpected love.

Life and its ways are truly miraculous. He had always believed to understand this, but now - having lived and left - he must admit that he did not have an inkling of an idea of the encompassing scope and magnificence. How... wonderfully enlightening!

He had always been certain that even slippery concepts such as love must surely be tied to one's katra. Not tied to destiny, per se, but tied to the very essence of any sentient being. How delightfully wrong he has been! Life still fascinates him, even after his own passing.

He has been given the gift to witness his younger self find a completely new path for himself. A path with similar bonds, just as strong as his own, but... different in energy. Just as he could watch his old love - young, once more - find a love that Spock would not have believed possible.

Oh, yes. Fascinating. _Beautifully_ fascinating.

 

And now that his katra is no longer tied to his mortal shell, awareness of a different kind comes to him. In his lifetime, he has not been sure if, perhaps, the immortal essence of his lost love would remain lost to him. Lost to time, space, dimensions no longer aligned... But now he knows that could never be the case, and he indeed looks forward to meeting his old friend again. Space is of no essence and neither is time. How inspiring.

 

He is not surprised at the place he finds himself in. While of course his funeral and all the ceremony that entails has taken place on New Vulcan, he has lived his last years on a different colony he helped to establish. And this is where his katra has decided to return to. For the time being.

In addition, he feels like his old friend might enjoy the environment.

He looks down his front and is surprised to see that he appears corporeal (at least for his non-corporeal perception) and in a uniform he hasn't seen himself in in a long time. Naturally, he is not prone to giving in to feelings of vanity, but the memory of a past long gone is undeniably invigorating. He can only barely conceal a smile.

The hint of his playful smile turns fond as he can feel another katra respond to his own and slowly grow stronger until it takes visible form next to him.

"Well!" says his visitor, delighted. "This is a surprise!"

Spock turns to look at him and sees that his appearance is as youthful as his own. "Hardly a surprise, old friend. Merely the course of life."

Kirk grins at him. "You took some detours," he says, looking around. "You should have asked for directions."

Spock's delight at hearing his friend's good humour again is apparent, but he remains quiet and lets the man look around.

"This is a nice place," Kirk remarks, taking in the scenery, the small house and the vineyard. He tilts his head at Spock. "Doesn't look like a world I know."

Spock lightly shakes his head and takes a step closer. "You could not. The creation of this colony was made necessary by the happenings in this timeline."

"Ah," Kirk nods. "Yes, I noticed something. It resulted in a different me." He frowns a bit. "I know he's out there, somewhere, but I could never quite grasp him..." He trails off, unsure how to describe the feeling of not-quite-rightness. Then he smirks at Spock. "Grasping _you_ on the other hand was quite easy, just now..."

"Unsurprisingly."

"Smug bastard."

For a while they look contently at each other before Spock continues:

"The disruption made waves quite a bit further into the past than we had been originally aware. One particular individual must have managed to travel as far back as the late 20th century, and not merely to the time of your birth. However, for fear of disrupting the timeline further, I have... taken this discovery to the grave, so to speak."

"Or not speak," Kirk quips.

"Indeed."

Kirk smirks, again and then slowly walks towards the house, certain that Spock would follow. "So, what is this place?"

"Moonraker."

Kirk stops and stares at Spock. "You're joking."

Spock merely raises an eyebrow.

"You're serious."

Spock's lip twitches. "I am told that Doctor McCoy has taken it upon himself to name the colony."

Kirk laughs, delighted. "He would."

Before they can continue, the door opens, and a young girl of perhaps four or five runs out, laughing, her dark hair waving behind her.

Kirk smiles, happy that the house does not only look homey. Spock smiles as well. It is difficult not to, and he has little reason to hold himself back these days.

"Slow down, Amanda!" comes a voice from within, and Kirk perks up before he can even see who the voice belongs to.

Spock tilts his head. "Jim, I would like to introduce you to... yourself."

That is when Kirk's counterpart steps out of the house, smiling and holding a baby of about six months.

Kirk beams, completely delighted. "Is that...?" he asks, looking from his other self to Spock and back. "No! Really? Ha!" He claps his hands once. "My. He has been busy."

Spock nods, remembering well the time of Amanda's birth; though he, himself, had not been present.  
"Young Amanda was born during an attack on the Enterprise only months before the third deep space mission was brought to a close."

Kirk (not being the incarnation that had to live with the fact of being born in a similar way and at great cost) takes merry delight in that fact. "Life's an adventure, little one," he declares, fondly.

Spock for his part takes heart in the childlike enthusiasm of life that his old friend has always managed to maintain. "She has taken after your counterpart in that respect," he muses. "And _he_ has clearly taken after you when he decided that trying for a baby in deep space was advisable." He raises an accusing eyebrow at his companion.

Kirk laughs. "All's well that ends well."

Spock can hardly argue that point, so they stroll closer to the little family. "Indeed. Especially since young Amanda did not lose anyone in that attack. However, they have decided to retire from active duty, after." He sounds as if perhaps that might have been his personal good influence.

"Huh," Kirk huffs, surprised. "Retirement. Really? Me?"

Spock tilts his head. "No, not you. _Him_." He lets that sink in for a brief moment. "Your counterpart - and mine for that matter - had to deal with an entirely different past. Naturally, this would lead to a different take of their future."

Kirk merely accepts that and looks at the three, contentedly. "If the shoe fits..." is all he has to say. This doesn't seem like _his_ shoe, but it definitely appears to be the shoe of the man in front of him, playing with his kids. Then he studies the children.  
"Not Carol, then, in this reality?"

Spock looks amused. "Doctor McCoy might have something to say about that..."

Kirk turns towards Spock, grinning widely, his hands on his hips. "Bones and Carol? Seriously?" He laughs again. "That sly old dog!"  
Which still left the question... "Who's the mother, then?" he asks, watching the children some more.

Kirk's counterpart has put the baby on the ground, leaving it crawling on the grass and sits on a chair.

Spock can sense the answer approach, so he remains silent and waits.

When the person who has been walking uphill passes them, young Amanda perks up and runs towards him.

"Papa!"

The man laughs, picks up the girl and spins her around. "Good morning, princess," he says and holds her close.

Kirk's eyes widen for a long moment before he chuckles. "My, my. This day is just full of surprises," he says, grinning at Spock. "Do I know him?" He feels like he should, but...

"Oh, yes," is all Spock says. He must admit that he's curious if his old friend can identify the children's father himself.

Since no answer is forthcoming, Kirk studies father and daughter who return to the house. Something about the way the man has addressed the girl sticks out. Something about... how perhaps it is not merely an affectionate nickname, but, perhaps... the man is in some way serious when he calls her a princess.  
His eyes widen once more, and he stares at Spock. "No way."

Spock merely nods, sardonically. "I was as surprised as you to see the changes he was capable of."

Kirk gapes at the family for a bit longer and slowly shakes his head as if to clear it. "What you said, earlier, about someone travelling to the late 20th century? They modified him?"

Spock nods again. "That has been my conclusion, yes. A member of the Romulan crew that altered your counterpart's life at birth with a similarly vengeful mindset must have travelled further back in an attempt to enhance whoever would one day be able to kill me."

Kirk appears dubious. "That doesn't sound like it would have made Khan more manageable."

"Indeed not. It made him more dangerous."

Kirk holds out his hands confused and then points at, well, Khan, kissing his, well, husband. "He doesn't look more dangerous."

Spock doesn't smile, but his eyes show all of the affection, admiration and love he feels for his old friend. "This incarnation of Khan had the privilege to be subjected to Jim Kirk's very unique ability to see potential in the unlikeliest of places."

Kirk smiles, knowing just how much one of Spock's compliments weighs. Then his smile wanes, as he looks around. "I guess my counterpart had better luck at finding a colony, then."

Spock breathes out. "Do not burden yourself with such thoughts, old friend. Once more, your situations were quite different. While you had to bring Khan to trial, your counterpart had more information about his origin and a strong incentive to... make amends for what had been done to him prior to their meeting."

Kirk silently accepts that. He has long since come to terms with the fact that he is entitled to a mistake or two. And all _is_ well that ends well. He smiles at the family, perhaps a bit ruefully but no less sincerely.  
"An effort worth making."

"Very much so," Spock wholeheartedly agrees. After all, he could watch the fruits of this particular labour grow, himself. "Despite my initial reservations," he allows for his slight miscalculation.

Kirk chuckles. "I can imagine."

Young Amanda's voice startles them out of their companionable contentment.

"Nana!"

And, this time, Kirk cannot hold back (spectral) tears run past his wide smile as he watches his approaching mother greet her granddaughter.

This might not have been _his_ life or _his_ choice, but it is a joy to observe nonetheless. He rubs at his face, clears his throat, nods firmly and then looks at his old friend.  
"Thank you for taking me here."

Spock raises an eyebrow. "Technically, I did not take you. You came."

Kirk waves him off. "Same thing. You were waiting for me. Where you go, I go." He tilts his head, contemplative. "Eventually." He grins. But as beautiful as this life is to witness, Kirk has his own (after) life and (eternal) love to experience.  
"I think it's time to head towards our own undiscovered country," he muses, still watching the family.

Spock hardly has a reason to protest...

Kirk turns to smirk at him. "How about you show me how... _corporeal_ these two old katralar can still be?"

Spock tilts his head. "As corporeal as we wish them to be."

"That's what I wanted to hear."

Spock refrains from replying to that remark and merely takes the hand Kirk offers.

Warmth is spreading between them, and a cheerful lightness surrounds them.

Kirk smiles at the family, once more. "I have the feeling that we won't be seeing them for a while..."

Spock shakes his head. "We will not." He doesn't yet know enough about katralar to pinpoint exactly why he is so sure, yet he has no doubts that the family has a long life ahead of them.

Kirk pulls the glowing energy that is his companion closer to his own, letting them pulsate through each other.  
"Good. I'm busy for the foreseeable future..."

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ♥
> 
> Also... Yes, there's a hidden Bond reference again ;)


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